Marian O鈥橲hea Wernicke was just 16 years old when she entered the convent. The oldest of seven children in a Catholic family with deep roots in St. Louis, Wernicke was drawn to live her faith, but she also worried about the temptations ahead. 鈥淚 thought, 鈥業f I don鈥檛 do it now, I鈥檓 never going to do it,鈥欌�� she recalled.
She went, joining the Sisters of the Most Precious Blood in O鈥橣allon, Missouri. She ultimately spent 11 years as a nun, teaching in St. Louis and Peru. But the same distractions she鈥檇 feared as a teen continued to speak to her soul. She found herself falling for a priest stationed in Bolivia, an epistolary relationship that left her torn between the attraction she felt and the vows she鈥檇 taken. In 1971, she left.
Now Wernicke鈥檚 debut novel, 鈥�,鈥� draws on her experience as a nun in Peru. The 2020 novel tells the story of Mary Katherine O鈥橬eill, a St. Louis native who joins the sisterhood as a teenager and later volunteers to serve in Peru, only to find herself drawn to an Irish priest. She leaves her convent in the high plains of Peru, setting out alone on a desperate journey across the country, grappling with a crisis of faith.
Previously a professor of English and creative writing at Pensacola State, Wernicke now lives in Austin, Texas. She said the novel鈥檚 central journey is entirely fictitious; she drew on her travels in Peru and additional research to plot her heroine鈥檚 course.
But the emotional struggle was all too real.
鈥淢y sisters laughingly said, 鈥榊ou know that鈥檚 your story,鈥欌�� Wernicke recalled on Friday鈥檚 St. Louis on the Air. 鈥淚 said, 鈥楴o, it鈥檚 not!鈥� But, I wrote this book because I often had students who found out I was a nun, and they often said, 鈥榃hy would any normal girl want to take a vow of poverty, chastity and obedience?鈥� Certainly anti-cultural values! No one wants to be poor, chaste or obedient. But I wanted to explore that, and dramatize that, in a way that people could relate to.鈥�
For all the difficulties of a nun鈥檚 life, leaving was still hard. Wernicke struggled to release herself from the vows she鈥檇 made, saying it took three years to work through her feelings. She recalled advice she got from a priest during that time: 鈥淒o you feel free to leave the convent?鈥�
鈥淣o, I don鈥檛,鈥� she told him. 鈥淚 feel guilty. I feel like I鈥檓 turning my back on God.鈥�
鈥淗e said, 鈥榃ell don鈥檛 leave until you feel in your heart that you鈥檙e really free to do this,鈥欌�� Wernicke recalled. 鈥淚 think that was very good advice. 鈥� As I have Kate say in the book, 鈥楪od, you made me this way. So I鈥檓 going to try to follow my nature, follow the way I see my life now.鈥欌�� Years later, she married (not the priest, she hastened to add) and had three children.
In Peru, Wernicke said she fully realized the naivete of being an American trying to help a people whose culture she only dimly understood. She recalled being in a cab during her time in Lima and the driver asking if she was from the U.S.
鈥淗e said, 鈥榃hy are you here? Aren鈥檛 there problems in your own country?鈥� And this was 1968. Martin Luther King Jr. had been assassinated, Bobby Kennedy had been assassinated. The civil rights movement was heating up, protests, Vietnam was heating up. He floored me with that question,鈥� she said. 鈥淚n the back of my mind was always that question.鈥�
Wernicke remains a Catholic, and she鈥檚 hopeful about the leadership of Pope Francis. 鈥淚 love the church, and I want it to change,鈥� she said. She鈥檇 like to see a greater role for women, and married men, in church leadership. 鈥淚 think we would have a healthier church if we had women priests, and if we had men who were able to choose married life if that鈥檚 what they felt called for. It should be a choice.鈥�
But she has no regrets about the 11 years she gave the church, nor that chastity, poverty and obedience. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 regret one minute of them,鈥� she said. 鈥淪ome people said you missed your high school, you missed having fun 鈥� I don鈥檛 feel that way. I feel that I grew. I went to a different country, I learned Spanish, I learned a different culture. 鈥� It enriched my life.鈥�
鈥�鈥� brings you the stories of St. Louis and the people who live, work and create in our region. The show is hosted by and produced by , , and . The audio engineer is .
