Each year, as Ramadan approaches, Alisa D啪eki膰 starts to reach out to her teachers at Bernard Middle School to let them know that she might be tired from fasting and to tell them she will be missing a day of school to celebrate Eid al-Fitr.
鈥淚 always have to send them emails that I'm going to be out that day because I'm always trying to just be with my family,鈥� the Mehlville eighth grader said. 鈥淚t's just really hard sometimes because I have to be like, 鈥榃hat did we do on that day?鈥欌��
D啪eki膰 and her family are Bosnian American and Muslim. In the past, the month of Ramadan has meant having to navigate a school system that didn鈥檛 give time off for Eid, one of the most important religious holidays for people who practice Islam. Rather than going to school, Alisa and her family spend the day celebrating the end of Ramadan by praying, calling family and friends in Bosnia-Herzegovina and taking an annual family photo.
But this is the last school year D啪eki膰 and her Muslim classmates will have to warn their teachers that they might be absent. Starting next year, Mehlville is adding an official holiday for Eid to the school calendar; it might be the first district in Missouri to do so.
Alisa鈥檚 father, Alija D啪eki膰, said Mehlville principals and teachers have been supportive of his family鈥檚 religion as his two daughters have made their way through the school district. When his family reached out to warn that the girls might not seem like themselves as they fast during the day, or that they may have to make up a test if it is held on Eid, educators responded with encouraging messages.
But this official recognition of the holiday has made Alija D啪eki膰 feel like his daughter can be her full self at school.
鈥淪he does not stand out from the crowd visually, but traditionally, culturally she did,鈥� D啪eki膰 said. 鈥淪he doesn't anymore. She is part of the whole process.鈥�
As many as 1,400 students have been absent on Eid in recent years in the Mehlville School District, officials said. That is about double the absences on a typical day. It鈥檚 one reason the district鈥檚 leaders started to think about adding the holiday to the calendar.
鈥淲e saw that our attendance was significantly less on these particular days,鈥� said Brian Smith, assistant superintendent for teaching and learning in the district. 鈥淭hat's a bad position for a district and the community to be in, trying to make people make decisions between what their religious beliefs are and certainly what the calendar of the school district looks like.鈥�
In October, the district鈥檚 calendar committee, which Smith facilitates, was considering the next school year. D啪eki膰 and a group from his mosque, the St. Louis Islamic Center in south St. Louis County, went to speak about the importance of Eid in their community.
Eid falls on a different day each year, because it is based on the lunar calendar, so D啪eki膰 said first, the group had to try to figure out when it would be next year. When the committee began to discuss April, members of his group raised their hands.
鈥淲e said what we wanted to say, that having Eid on the calendar meant a lot to us,鈥� D啪eki膰 said. 鈥淭here were no objections, and it was like my heart started growing. I mean, it was bigger and bigger.鈥�
The committee decided to add the holiday, starting in the 2022-23 school year. Alija鈥檚 daughter, Alisa, said she was smiling the rest of the day after she found out.
鈥淚 was very emotional, but I was also very proud of the Mehlville school district,鈥� said Alisa D啪eki膰. 鈥淣ow, everyone recognizes us, and we'll just be able to celebrate that.鈥�
Eid traditions
At a recent iftar dinner at the St. Louis Islamic Center, dozens of families prayed as the sun set, then gathered in the basement of the mosque to break their fast together. The room was decorated with fresh flowers, balloons and signs reading 鈥淩amadan Mubarak.鈥�
The mosque is in a new building on Reavis Barracks Road that had its grand opening in 2017. The center has grown a lot since it started, and now more than 600 families are members.
鈥淢ost of our members are Bosniaks, or people who originate from Bosnia, but our doors are open for everybody,鈥� said Imam Eldin Su拧a.
Merjem 艩eki膰 was excited to be able to eat with everyone again after the pandemic made these community dinners impossible, and she was already preparing for Eid.
On Eid in Bosnia-Herzegovina, children go door to door to congratulate other families and receive gifts like money or chocolate. Many families have continued the tradition in St. Louis. 艩eki膰 and her husband had already bought candy to put together goodie bags for the kids in her neighborhood and family friends.
艩eki膰 was born in Bosnia but moved to the U.S. in 2001, then went to school in Kentucky before moving to St. Louis to be near her husband鈥檚 family. She has two children, Medina and Ibrahim, and is expecting another child in the coming weeks.
Both kids will be in kindergarten next school year in the Mehlville district, so they will be part of the first class of children who won鈥檛 have to miss school because of Eid. 艩eki膰 found out about the change on Facebook.
鈥淚 was so excited. I really was,鈥� 艩eki膰 said. 鈥淸Students] can just take the day off instead of having to make an excuse or, you know, just not show up without an excuse.鈥�A missing puzzle piece
Bosnians have been in St. Louis for decades, but Su拧a said this decision in Mehlville has made people really proud to be Americans and experience the full freedom of religion that is promised here.
鈥淚t's adding a piece of yourself to the puzzle we created here,鈥� Su拧a said. 鈥淚t feels a lot to be accepted as you are. I mean, it makes people love this country even more.鈥�
Alija D啪eki膰 was emotional as he thought about the message the district is sending to his family by recognizing the holiday.
鈥淲hen I came to the United States 25 years ago, I knew it was the land of opportunity, it accepted everybody,鈥� D啪eki膰 said. 鈥淲e are not just here as a number on the census. We are neighbors. We are students. We are teachers. We're cleaners. We're cooks. 鈥� We are part of the community.鈥�
He said April 21, 2023, when Eid will be celebrated next, will be written in history.
Now, Su拧a hopes other districts with similarly large Muslim populations will consider following Mehlville鈥檚 lead.
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